Weighty matters

Friday we took Jack to see his pediatrician. We wanted to make sure he was gaining weight properly since he can't drink whole milk.

I knew he was getting heavier, because my biceps are looking like I got a "B-12" shot in the ass from Miguel Tejada. But I was hoping he was keeping up with his curve. He's been drinking rice milk for a month now, with a few ounces a day of goat's milk thrown in for kicks. It hasn't been bothering him, so we've stuck with that.

The doctor said first thing he wanted to do was weigh him. If he was still on his curve, we wouldn't even need to talk about my concerns because they would be a moot point.

Imagine my surprise when we put out little 10-percenter on the scale and he had gained 2.5 pounds IN ONE MONTH.

Apparently, I was starving him with the breastmilk. Because since we weaned, he's porking out. He went from between the 10-25th percentiles for weight (which he's been at since birth) to between the 25-50th percentiles.

We are stuffing him full of almond butter and avocado every day and sneaking things like olive oil into the preparation of his food. (Note to self: avoid avocado and almond butter if trying to lose weight.)

The belly that ate Chicago is growing by leaps and bounds on this kid, which is great. I am thrilled to see him move into the average range. Yay for mediocrity!

His doctor said he wants us to try phasing some whole milk in gradually. He said rice milk doesn't have nearly enough fat for the long term and goat's milk is missing some key vitamin growing kids need in their diets.

So dutiful patients that we are, we will start that next week. Maybe the Easter bunny will bring Jack a basket of cheese, yogurt and milk. Because nothing says "let's celebrate the resurrection of our Lord" like a little dairy-induced diarrhea.