Single White Mommy seeks same

Some people spend their single years in bars looking for their future spouses. They have a few drinks, work the crowd, strike up conversations and occasionally, they hook up.

I am proud to say I met Josh in a bar five years ago. Some friends and my sister and I were out in Wrigleyville at Goose Island on St. Patrick's Day 2001 and decided to leave and go to Sheffields instead. Within 10 minutes of being in the back bar, Josh and his friend, Dave, stopped to talk to my sister and I, and the rest, as they say, is history.

No, we didn't hook up. In fact, after we chatted and I refused to give him my phone number (I gave him my business card instead -- he could have been a psycho) he eventually left without even saying goodbye. He e-mailed me a photo of the two of us the following Monday morning and we began a little e-mail discourse for a few days before going on our first date.

So while I didn't set out with express intention of meeting my husband in a bar, it worked out well for me.

But there is no equivalent for meeting new friends. Specifically, new mom friends.

I wish I could just head out on a Friday night with a drink in my hand and chat up some cool moms. Because, clearly, the cool moms are at home with their kids. And if they were out at a bar on a Friday night, they wouldn't have their kids with them and then how would I know they were moms to begin with?

Instead, I head over to the kids section at Barnes and Noble. Or strike up chats with other stroller-pushers at local cafes. Or smile and nod to women with kids in the diaper aisle at the grocery store.

Josh makes fun of me and says I am a mommy stalker. I can see how it would appear that way. When we walk by the playground down the street and I see the moms and kids playing, I always stare wistfully.

It's not like I can throw Jack down the slide and start a conversation with another mom. He's somewhat lacking in the ability to hold up his end of the playdate potential. You can't have a playdate if all you do is lie there or suck the boob. That's a nursing date. There's no playing involved.

Sure, we have a few friends who have babies. And we've gotten together with them a couple of times. But I am still not sure how to go about making new mommy friends.

It's like dating all over again.

Will they like me? Will I like them? What should I wear on our first date? Why is it all the good moms are taken? How far should I go on the first date? What if she's coming off a bad relationship with another mom?

THE PRESSURE. IT'S TOO MUCH.

They should have something like match.com for moms. You fill out your interests, post an amusing profile and set up get-togethers after a few "get-to-know-you" e-mails. If if doesn't work out, you tweak your profile and search again.