No change

Hi, my cervix? It can't make up its mind.

For 16 weeks it was all, "I suck. I want to open. I want to screw with your mind and I will require rest. All the time. Or I will dilate and shoot the baby out like a pinball."

Now, it is trying to play it all cool.

I have not dilated any further from Friday, my doctor told me today she thinks I am between 1-2 cm, "so essentially the same."

What the hell is that? There is no stitch holding it closed. It should open wide. And proud. For the world to see. Oh but no. Now it gets stage fright and acts like a scared little bitch.

I thought there would be a little more progress. I mean I lost my mucus plug this weekend. In case you are not familiar, let me share. Your mucus plug looks like a HUGE GOB OF SNOT.

I was dying laughing in the bathroom. I came out with a huge smile on my face and all giddy telling Josh. He of the "not knowing what the mucus plug is" class of citizens. I asked him if he wanted to know what it looked like and I got an emphatic, "NO" in response.

He then advised me to lie down. I told him it really doesn't mean anything, and you can go two more days or two more weeks after it comes out. Which it has now been doing over the last 24 hours. In several bursts.

Seriously, this is some great shit. I have never been so excited about something so gross. If the mucus plug is this good, I am positively giddy about the placenta.

Oh yeah, and about the jug of pee in my fridge... I am not in any danger. My protein came back fine and my BP was 120/80 today and the swelling seems to be a tadly bit less. So no pre-eclampsia for me.

But there is no fun like the big fun of collecting your pee for 24 hours.
Including at your husband's company party. In a public restroom. In a Gatorade bottle. When you can't see where you are aiming your stream.